Question for Toni:
“Toni. I follow all of your stuff on line and I just love your approach and I love what you have to say. I try to implement everything but I seem to be failing. I write down what I want to do and I just don't do it. Any advice for this stay at home Mom of 4?”
If you want success you must start with self awareness!
If you don't identify why you're presently doing what you're doing or acting the way you're acting, it's going to be really challenging for you to switch those patterns and create personal growth and development.
Start working towards identifying the challenges and habits holding you back, your positive habits, and then get REALLY clear on the outcome you want. Read again what I wrote, "the outcome you want" not "the outcome you think you deserve. Meaning, most people minimize what they truly want because what they value and what they believe are in conflict. And that is typically what stops us all from succeeded.
Example, if you WANT to lose weight and you VALUE good health, but you don't BELIEVE you are capable of achieving that goal, you wont. Because you have already told your brain you would FAIL, which is a painful reality, and our brains are designed to keep us out of pain and closer to pleasure. And if your brain is told, by you, that doing something is painful, it will fill your head with ALL the reason you shouldn't do it, even though it is a lie. Your brain doesn't know that it's a lie so it will tell you things like:
"Oh I can have one little piece, I worked out today so this little bit won't hurt me" or "It's already Friday so I might as well eat it and just start Monday". You see, these EXCUSES are ways our brain THINKS it's keeping us out of pain and closer to pleasure.
Not being accountable and not "depriving" yourself is definitely more pleasurable than the alternative, yes? The thing is, our brain doesn't understand long term vs short term pleasure. So typically, it will keep us out of pain in the moment, but not long term. So eating like crap for another weekend is keeping us farther away from our actually goal of losing weight and being healthy, which would come with LONG TERM pleasure.
You must start by redefining your pain vs pleasure response. It is very simple, it begins with how you communicate. Communication is the direct link to the quality of our lives, but it included how we communicate with ourselves. If you say "I can't have that food"- DEPRIVATION and PAIN to "I don't want that food"- POWER and PLEASURE, and you review that process every day... in combination with identifying the true outcome you want out of all areas of your life, without listening to what other people's opinions are, and then list the SPECIFIC reasons why you want these outcome... you will see improvements immediately! Sounds like hyperbole for sure, but I ask you judge by results only.
I hope this helps and thanks for reaching out!
"Toni, I have given up on losing weight. I change my diet and end up breaking it, I join a gym and end up cancelling it. Help!"
When it comes to health, one of the biggest, yet most common mistakes people make is only focusing on weight loss. That’s why diet pills exist, why liposuction is even a thing, and why fads like the Atkins Diet skyrocketed in popularity (who cares if you’re putting endless amounts of cholesterol and saturated fats into your body – you look great). But almost without fail, people return to their normal habits – and have nothing left to show for the torture they put their body through except irreparable damage on their health and wellness.
Do you go paleo? Ketogenic? Plant-based? How do you find the diet that won’t just help you shed pounds, but improve your overall health? And how do you find the path that will lead to real, lasting change?
This is exactly where functional medicine comes in. Functional medicine looks at the body as one integrated system in which everything is connected. And rather than treating symptoms, functional medicine seeks to identify and address the root causes. So your weight, for example, is not treated as an isolated issue, but as a symptom of an underlying health problem.
When is the last time you’ve seen a food pyramid? Do you remember those loaves of bread and mountains of pasta forming the foundation? We were conditioned to believe that cereal, milk and ham were the right path to nutrition. But it shouldn’t come as a surprise that eating half a loaf of white bread a day isn’t going to get you the body you want. Especially since most bread products are filled with preservatives and additives like food dyes or high-fructose corn syrup.
Losing weight is not simply about exercise and nutrition, although the two ARE a part of the equation. But to gain lasting weight loss, have energy running through your veins and improve overall health, it must also include identifying and rectifying thought patterns and habits.
When I worked for the TOP trainer for the Biggest Losers website, Jillian, I worked with over 5000 users a month. Did you know I was the only coach on the site with a 97.3% success rate for 6 consecutive years...the entire length of my time on the site?
I don't say this to impress you but to impress upon you that the reason why my clients reached such success was because I not only worked on the food and exercise side of health, but the mind as well.
Lasting results must start with the mind. In order to lose weight long term, which I believe you can, focus more on breaking your patterns and habits of thinking, aligning your values and beliefs, asking yourself good questions, making decisions that come with long term benefits vs side effects and take ACTION.
Please feel free to reach back out to me or get a clearer understanding of what that all means.
The 10 day program is also a great way to get started on the journey of self aware and transformation.
I'm proud of your courage and honesty.